Microsoft Sam

Microsoft Sam is Siri's ex. Siri broke up with him after realizing that the whole time they were dating, Sam was illegally hiding out in his attic, eating mice and taking creepy candid photographs of him from the ceiling tiles and pinning them to a cork board and connecting them with pieces of string. Siri found out about Sam's stalking and trespassing when he decided to turn on the attic fan one hot day in the summer. Turns out, at the time, Sam was using said attic fan as a footrest. Long story short, Sam now has a peg-leg and seventy-two restraining orders against him, four of which are from Siri. He named his peg-leg after Siri.

Colored outlines FTW.